On Penitence - Step 5 of Saint John Climacus’ The Ladder of Divine Ascent
from Ascending the Heights: a
layman’s guide to ‘The Ladder’,
by Father John Mack
Once John outran Peter, and now obedience is placed before repentance.
For the one who arrived first represents obedience, the other repentance.
With these words, Saint John Climacus introduces
us to Rung Five of The Ladder which leads us to heaven. His definition
of repentance is striking:
Repentance is the renewal of baptism and is a contract with God for a fresh start in life.
Repentance goes shopping for humility and is ever distrustful of bodily comfort.
Repentance is critical awareness and a sure watch over oneself. Repentance
is the daughter of hope and the refusal to despair. (The penitent stands
guilty – but un-disgraced.) Repentance is reconciliation with the
Lord by the performance of good deeds which are the opposite of the sins. It
is the purification of conscience and the voluntary endurance of affliction. The
penitent deals out his own punishment, for repentance is the fierce persecution of the stomach and the flogging of the soul
into intense awareness.
A friend of mine some time ago asked an experienced monastic for a word of instruction.
The monk looked at him and said:
“You spend too much time trying to do everything right. You
try too hard to be successful. This is your problem.
You are not good enough to make it to heaven on the basis of your good deeds, but you don’t repent enough to
make it on the basis of your sorrow. Try harder to repent and you shall be
saved.”
The spirit of this monastic advice is in keeping with the words of Saint John Climacus.
Not that we shouldn’t try hard to do things right, but we should realize at all times and in all things that
we are, to use the phrase of Jesus, but “unprofitable servants”.
We should indeed try hard to repent than to do anything else. We
should be more concerned with finding our faults than we are with noticing our accomplishments.
We should sorrow more for our failures than we rejoice in our successes.
We should blame ourselves more readily than others. We should accept
the disappointments and difficulties of life without complaint. For as Saint
John writes:
A proof of our having been delivered from our failings is the unceasing acknowledging of our indebtedness…. A sign of repentance is the admission that all our troubles, and more besides,
whether visible or not, were richly deserved.
Without repentance no one will ascend the Ladder to heaven.
This is why Satan works so hard at keeping us from true repentance. His
methods are diverse.
God is merciful before a fall, inexorable after – so the demons say.
And when you have sinned, pay no attention to him who says in regard to minor failings:
“If only you had not committed that major fault! This is nothing
by comparison.” The truth is that very often small gifts soften the
great anger of the Judge.
He who really keeps track of what he has done will consider as lost every day during which he did not
mourn, regardless of whatever good he may happen to have done…..We ought to be on our guard, in case our
conscience has stopped troubling us, not so much because of its being clear but because of its being immersed in sin.
How important this reminder is! The way to God is hard, and not
everyone that enters the race will receive the prize. Yes, God is loving
and desires that all will be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth. But
not all are willing to endure the suffering and pain that come from embracing
the truth about themselves. Only the humble and penitent can be saved, because
only the humble and penitent are willing to embrace despair of themselves. And
it is only despair of self which leads to true faith in the Infinite Other, who alone can save.
We must be very careful not to fall into
the heresy of Origen, who taught that all will be saved. Saint John’s
words are addressed to us:
All of us…..should be especially careful not to be afflicted with the disease of the godless Origen. This foul disease uses God’s love for man as an excuse and is very welcome
to those who are lovers of pleasure.
Sin is serious! To offend the
living and loving God is monstrous evil. To turn away from his compassion
and to follow our own way is the height of rebellion and the greatest offense. Let
us be done with playing around with sin. Let us be done with downplaying
the significance of our offenses. Even the
littlest offense is worthy of eternal hellfire!
Let us bow low before God and beg of him the forgiveness of our sins.
Let us beseech him to remove far from us coldness of heart and an insensitivity to offense.
Let us stop pretending that we are holy when we are empty of true sanctity.
Let us be honest with God and with ourselves And let us repent!
Through repentance you have reached
the fifth step. You have, in this way, purified the fives senses, and by choosing to accept punishment, have thereby avoided
the punishment that is involuntary.
